It can be very painful suspecting that your significant other is cheating on you. While conducting research for this article, it became very obvious that many, many people have gone through what you’re going through.
The tricky thing here is that you want to give your significant other the benefit of the doubt. It would be horrible to accuse them of doing something that they’re not doing, so you want as many reasons as possible for the inevitable confrontation.
Though these 9 signs aren’t all of the possible signs of a cheating spouse, they serve as a good starting point, and cover a wide enough spectrum that you may be able to come to your own conclusions.
Also, please keep in mind that it’s not just one of these signs, alone, that serves as a giveaway that someone’s being unfaithful. Rather, it’s a number of these signs, together, that should really increase your suspicion. Yes, some of these signs are greater indicators than others, but I think you’ll find that if one of these signs are present, then a number of others will be too.
Cheater Sign #1: You Suspect That Something’s Wrong
Now, this is obvious. You wouldn’t be here if that weren’t the case. However, it’s still worth mentioning. The key here is to trust your instincts and think for yourself. The rest of the signs listed below are really just ideas and self-starters. You have to take them, apply them to your situation, and think of creative ways to discover the truth for yourself.
That said, you’re in the right spot…
Cheater Sign #2: Patterns Or Habits Have Changed
This is one of the biggest signs, and can cover anything from work, social conduct, hours spent away from home, to how your spouse has mysteriously been guarding their phone recently. Of course, a big part of these changes are there to possibly try to hide something.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
Has something changed socially that seems…wrong or different? For example, are they affectionate with you privately, but not in public (even though they used to be)?
Do they spend more time at work? Not just the occasional “meeting,” but as of late, routinely coming home much later than usual.
Are they not as affectionate as they used to be? Does it seem like they’re just…not there?
Cheater Sign #3: They Smell Different
This one’s easy: if your partner’s a man, and he comes home smelling like women’s perfume (or is a woman and comes home smelling like men’s cologne), then that might indicate something.
Now, there’s a point to be made here: what if your partner’s a man, and comes home smelling like cologne, but it’s not his…?
Hmm… Could it be that your significant other is gay? Though this deserves it’s own article, it is something to consider.
Cheater Sign #4: They Come Home Freshly Showered
Where did they shower? Were they at the gym? (Incidentally, if your partner is suddenly very interested in their physical appearance, and recently has been spending time at the gym, that might be another thing to take note of.)
Cheater Sign #5: Their Body Language Has Changed
This is one you’ll need to suss out for yourself. Here are a few questions to ponder:
Do they not face you as much?
Do they make less eye contact, looking away more often?
Do they sleep turned away from you more often?
Cheater Sign #6: You Find Birth Control or Condoms
Now, obviously, this sign doesn’t apply to all couples. If you’ve mutually decided to use birth control pills or use condoms, then of course you’ll find birth control pills or condoms. However, if you don’t use condoms or birth control (say, you’re trying to conceive), then discovering such items may be a shock.
Just another sign.
Cheater Sign #7: They’ve Stopped Caring About The Issues They Used To Care About
That is, issues that affected you two personally, that you may have debated about, don’t affect them anymore.
For example, let’s say that you two used to argue about something—-say, politics. Maybe you belong to one political ideology, and they to another. In the past, you had friendly debates about your differences.
But now, they don’t seem to want to have those debates…even though they still hold the same beliefs, and will continue to defend them against anyone…except you.
This is a sign that they may not be as interested in you anymore. Very sad, but possibly true.
Cheater Sign #8: They Never Let You See Their Phone (Or Their Tablet or Computer)
A phone can hold many of the keys you’re looking for…if you can get access to it. Here are a few questions to consider:
As of late (or however long this affair’s been going on), have they been mysteriously protective of their phone/tablet, even to the point of taking it to the washroom?
Do they get antsy about you even looking at their phone?
Do they get text messages from people you don’t know about? Do they get a lot of these text messages? Do they spend more time texting than talking to you?
Cheater-Busting Tip: Speaking about phones, there’s an app you may want to try installing on your spouse’s iPhone or iPad (but have to do it discreetly): FindMyFriends.
It’s an app from Apple that basically tells you where your friends are. You can read more about it from Apple, but know this: it’s been used to help people bust cheaters.
Cheater Sign #9: Computer Clues
Do they spend a lot of late nights on the computer?
Do they delete their browser history? Why? What are they trying to hide?
Can you see what sites they’ve been accessing? (If you both use the same compeer, and log in under the same name, and you see interesting ads pop up, that might be a sign.)
This Is Not The End
For a person who’s very astute and observant, there can be many, many signs of a cheating spouse, and we definitely haven’t listed all of them here. However, we hope that we’ve given you something to work from.
We know that this is very painful for you, but the worst thing you can do is accuse someone of doing something that they’re not. So, when it comes time to ask your spouse, do so lightly. State that, “I’ve noticed X, Y, and Z, and want to know if there’s something going on that you’d like to tell me. I’m ready for it. I just want an honest answer.”
A Legal Consideration
Let’s face it, if you’re in a relationship (like a marriage) where there are legal ramifications for infidelity, then you it’s incumbent upon you to do everything you can to prove adultery. Try to keep bank statements, phone records…anything that’ll help you prove your case in court. There are many good private investigators that can help you do this, but you don’t even have to hire a PI: just do your own deeper research and try to come up with a legal strategy.
But because that’s beyond the scope of this article, maybe we should end here. We’ve given you a lot to consider. Good luck.