It can be extremely frustration when your boyfriend doesn’t communicate with you. This can cause stress in a relationship and make you question whether or not something is wrong.
Pushing him to talk will typically make things worse, so you need to take a different approach.
The goal is to understand whether this behavior is typical or if there is something wrong (like he is hiding something from you).
If it’s a new relationship you might not understand all of their mannerisms and traits yet, so give it some time.
If it’s longer relationship and things have changed, then you are dealing with a new behavior and you need to be on the look out for some tell-tale signs.
More often then not, there is something going on that you NEED to be aware of.
- He is cheating on you. This is one of the worst things that could happen as a result of him cutting off communication with you. If he is cheating on you, he will probably talk to you less because he feels bad and because he doesn’t want you to find out about it.
You can find out if he’s cheating with a tool like: He also will probably be vague about the things he is talking to you about.
So if he isn’t talking to you at all, don’t necessarily assume that he is cheating on you. But if there are other signs, then this could be the final straw.
- He is hiding something. This could be good or bad. Maybe he bought you a present and is worried you will find out about it so he is avoiding talking to you. Or maybe he just lost his job and doesn’t want to tell you yet. You don’t necessarily have to assume the worst, but you should try to talk to him if his silence bothers you. If he is hiding something bad then it needs to come out into the open.
Presents and surprises are the only times there should be secrecy in a relationship.
- He feels guilty about something. If your boyfriend has done something wrong or forgotten about an important event, he might go into recluse mode for a while. Let him stew in his guilt and take his time to think about what he has done. After some time has passed, lovingly remind him that you both are human and you both make mistakes.
Hopefully this will knock him out of self-induced guilt trip and will reinstate your communication. If you suspect cheating, don’t wait around.
- He wants space. You have to remember that guys are not as good at communicating feelings as girls are. For example, if a girl was feeling like things were moving too quickly, she would probably address it and tell her boyfriend that she wanted to slow down.
Put a guy in that same scenario and you aren’t going to necessarily get the same response. Instead of telling you he wants more space, he might just be creating more space by not talking to you. If you think this is the reason for his lack of communication, try asking him if he wants space in the relationship—then at least you would have something to talk about.
- He is stressed. Most girls like to relieve stress by talking about what is stressing them out. Even though this is a great way to handle your stress, you can’t assume that your man will handle it the same way. A lot of guys would rather not address the stress at all as a way to cope with it. Some guys might need to brood over what is stressing them out before they will talk to you about it.
Other guys might want to ignore the stress completely and just hope it disappears at some point. Whatever way your guy handles stress, you can bet that if you ask him what is wrong over and over again he will stop talking to you about it because that is even more stressful to deal with!
- It’s all in your head. Let’s be honest for a moment. Girls tend to over-analyze everything. So before you accuse your sweet, innocent boyfriend of cheating on you or hating you, make sure that his crime is real.
Talk to some of your friends and see if they have noticed the same things that you have noticed. Maybe your boyfriend just doesn’t talk that much. Or maybe he hates texting even though you love it. Once you have honestly assessed the reality of the situation, proceed with caution. You definitely don’t want to accuse him of something he hasn’t done.
- He is planning a surprise. Back to the lack of multitasking abilities…it is really hard for a guy to plan a surprise and keep it a secret at the same time. So, in order to avoid spilling the beans, your boyfriend might just cut off communication completely.
After all, girls are pretty perceptive—he might be worried that you will figure out what he is planning and completely ruin all of the hard work he has put into your surprise!
- He is busy. This could actually be a legitimate reason why he isn’t talking to you, as hard as that is to believe. If he tells you that he is busy, it is pretty safe to assume that he is actually busy rather than immediately suspecting something nefarious is going on.
If he is busy with school, work, or his family, he might just not have time to talk to you throughout the day. Instead of nagging him about talking to you, try to help him out by creating specific times for you to talk to each other—that way, you both will feel better about your relationship.
- It’s your fault—he is mad at you. Let me guess, you hadn’t even considered this possibility. Well, ladies, contrary to popular opinion, women do not do everything right in relationships.
Before you assume that he is doing something wrong, make sure that you have not done something wrong first. If he is mad at you—especially if this is the first time he is mad at you—he might just not know what to do. Maybe he wants to think over the situation and assess it. He also could be asking others for advice on how to handle his anger towards you. Or he might just be giving himself some time to cool down. Whatever his method of dealing with anger is, just know that it may be a good thing that he isn’t talking to you about it yet and give him some time.
- He is gaming. Your boyfriend most likely plays video games. And if he is like many other guys, he cannot multitask very well. So if you have not heard from your boyfriend for a couple of hours, or in severe cases, several days, don’t automatically assume the worst. There is a really good chance that the reason why he hasn’t replied to your texts or has ignored your calls is because he is in video game land and will remain there indefinitely.
Give him a chance to come back to reality. After a while he will realize he is hungry, grab his phone to call the pizza guy, and see all of your worried, endearing texts. Hopefully, he will promptly reply.